Men’s Probiotics PieceAdmin@ | February 18, 2019 | 0 | Health
The fact is nobody gets to be an authority on their own body these days. Today instead of home remedies and enough time spent resting, we go to the doctor, ask for a magic pill for nearly everything and head on our merry way. If you have the flu, try Tamaflu. If you have a cold, knockout the symptoms and get yourself to work anyway.
If your wife just delivered a new baby, get to work to pay down those credit cards. What this tells me is that work drives my body, not my actual body. As a result, I’m a recovering workaholic. I learned that work actually was the remedy and that my body was not something that did very much for me. My family supported my decisions because let’s face it, having kids is not cheap.
On top of it, our culture reinforces this type of person- the tech guy who is literally “killing it” in the industry. I remember some days slipping into bed only to feel like I’d just fallen asleep when the alarm was screaming at me to get up and go. I fueled my mornings with coffee and a go coffee. At around 10 my stomach was screaming at me to eat and my tired mind would be craving sugar so I’d drop into our companies Starbucks grab more coffee and a few sweet things. Yeah, I was getting a “Dad bod” but that wasn’t enough to alter my behavior. We all needed this.
On the weekends when I had some time to be intimate with my wife, I’d find myself unwinding with Netflix absolutely knocked out. She was fine with it normally because she was tired with the new baby. I’ll never forget the first night we got her parents in to babysit. We booked a hotel in town and had our first date in 18 months.
It was great until that intimate moment. Nothing was working and I had to admit defeat that night. We were both pretty tired and just wrote it off as our new friend exhaustion and went to bed. Nights like these carried on for a few more weeks. My body not only felt tired but my digestion was completely lethargic. I’d lose track of whether or not I’d used the bathroom. My “Dad bod” morphed into a grumpy old man gut. And I started losing confidence at work.
At home, my mind was completely preoccupied with worry and I moved through my day more like a robot than a person. Change the baby. Kiss the wife. State a platitude about how this is “21st century parenting” and continue to feel horrible. Finally I took myself to the doctor. He let me have it. My weight was up 35 pounds and I was at risk for heart disease. It turns out exhaustion, my indigestion stomach pains and ED were all signs that I was making my way towards a heart attack. He prescribed Levitra and sent me on my way. I could hear myself screaming “NO! NO! NO! This is for old men. This isn’t for me.” That night I dreamt I was being rushed through the Emergency Room after having a heart attack.
I woke up and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Each beat felt like a drum. I suddenly knew it. My body is still a force of life and it demands to be listened to. The exhaustion, the ED, the weight gain, the constipation, and the anxiety were all my body telling me to please change. So I did. The first thing I did was research constipation and realized that yeah coffee and sweet things was not a diverse enough diet for my gut. I started my days with smoothies and aprobiotic for men.
In about three months my trips to the bathroom were like clockwork again. I went to see a fantastic therapist in Seattle. He worked with veterans with PTSD and he also saw guys like me who were cut off from their bodies and filled with anxiety. His remedy was journalling and hitting the gym to lift weights. After about 2 months of regular weightlifting and cardio vascular exercise I was 15 pounds lighter and much more at ease.
The hardest beast to tackle was the workload. I’d already cut out a few hours a day to include more time for my health but that wasn’t enough. I needed to get back to sleeping. To my surprise I didn’t need to have that conversation with HR. The tech startup I worked for had claimed bankruptcy and sent us all packing within a week. I will never forget how I felt that day. I just kept walking and walking and walking across Seattle. My body seemed to say “great” but my mind was in a panic. I payed for a day pass at a gym and worked out in my work clothes. Took off my shoes and looked in the mirror.
As I worked my way to my 3rd set, I could feel that beating drum- this time not from panic but from shear strength. My life force was coming back, and kind of like a “trust fall” I had to just let go of control. I stopped off at the flourist, grabbed the deep red roses and made love to my wife that night. It had been almost 2 years since we had and after I couldn’t understand how I had let that go from my life.
Today, I do gigs online to make ends meet. We don’t live in Seattle anymore. We moved out to Idaho and love being around nature. What we need to exist is much more manageable, and I’m happy again. Not every day, but the way most happy people are happy- I feel at ease. Sometimes the thrill of a startup gets me missing the grind. That’s when I typically plan a hike or hit the gym. I feel like one of the lucky ones who got out before it was too late. Anyway, if you feel like me, I hope you too hear your body’s call to action and take it. You’ll never regret it.